Once upon a time, I was at a crossroad. My nonprofit career left me burnt out. I was doing freelance work as a writer and communications consultant, but it wasn’t quite enough to make a living. I needed to decompress from the stressful life I created.
I returned from Canada after a failed work visa attempt and found work as a bartender on the commuter ferries in San Francisco. I needed some no-brainer work. I poured wine, opened beers, and made the odd margarita. As a reward, I got to watch the water go by and the reflective colors of the sunset on a nightly basis.
Later, I got a different route. I did what was known as the Bay Cruise. This was a tourist cruise, with a pre-recorded guide that told the history of San Francisco based on our route. The boat would approach the Golden Gate bridge, bank a turn on an incoming swell, and then head to Alcatraz.
I spent my days surrounded by color and light. I saw wildlife in the form of sea birds, seals, porpoises, dolphins, and whales. I relished rough water days and the excitement of banking those turns under the Golden Gate. I felt special having access to the boat ramps, hopping on and off between trips. I loved being on the water.
It was a great way to decompress. All of the stress I had started to settle down. Having a stress free job showed me that I could also have a life with less stress. It was a revalation.
Eventually, I left the ferries to be a cook, but later, I was able to return to boat life as a cook on a river cruise ship. I miss being on the water a lot, but the memory of it reminds me that life doesn’t have to be stressed.
Ambition often gets the better of me. I recently had a pretty epic crash and burnout. My inclination to overwork feels like it’s ingrained into my DNA. But then life gives me an opportunity to slow down and do it differently and possibly better.
And, like that time on the ferries, I remember that a good life, for me, is always better than achievement or prestige. Achievement can be fulfilling, but prestige is about other people’s opinions.
I may forever be learning to live for myself.
Beyond Clarity 