Between

My priest this last Sunday used a great metaphor for faith: that space between the trapeze when a flyer goes from one to the other. It’s a terrifying space where you’ve let go of one thing and will grab another. A lot can happen in that space.

I find myself in that space right now. I’m in the process of letting go of the nomad lifestyle for a more conventional one. It’s not easy. I find myself daydreaming about adventures, but then remember such things are harder to fit in this life.

I also daydream about future projects. I’m not really equipped for stagnation. I have to feel like I’m working toward something. In the past, I used my nomad lifestyle as a distraction. Now I have to look to the future and think in terms of benchmarks.

Setting goals is different for me now. I use to set goals in an effort to gain respect from others. Almost everything I accomplished was to get a nod of acknowledgment. Now I know better. If a person is not going to be respectful, it reflects poorly on them, not me.

Sometimes you do what you have to, so you can do what you want to. I feel like I’m at the latter part of that sentiment. Now, my goals are directly related to what will bring me satisfaction. It’s not that I don’t think about others, I do. But I’ve decided it’s OK to do things that keep me content.